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How did I get here?

This passed weekend I lost another family member, my grandfather. There is a whole host of emotions to process as my family plan yet another funeral/memorial service. 

While I am sad and miss my family, I also understand that as he aged we were able to prepare ourselves for something like this. Unlike with my father’s passing, this was expected at some point in the near present/future. He had lived a very full life with many careers and hobbies. This death, though it is still met with grief, has a sense of peace and acceptance to it. It still brings with it a time to pause and reflect:

Our life, our one life, we can either choose to believe that we are stuck in circumstances that are beyond our control or we can work to change our perspective and there by changing our circumstances. 

I have gone through so much in the last 5-10 years that when I look back at it sometimes I feel like I am watching a terrible Lifetime movie. So much drama and honestly I never shared half of it because I was afraid of who it might affect all the while keeping everything inside and allowing my peace to be taken away from me simultaneously losing trust in myself.

When I tell people that I have, at 30 years old, moved away from the United States, with only the money I have saved and no real plan of what I am doing with my life, the looks I get are incredulous. But when I tell you that I have never been happier, believe me! Plans are amazing and goals are fine to light that fire under your ass. But sometimes you have to just do it. You have to just go for it. 

 ©Hailee B. Photography

©Hailee B. Photography

There are so many times that I just want to shout it so everyone can hear, “YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE STUCK.” 

There are options, There are resources, there are groups and so much available to help you if you want to do more. 

If you hate your life/job? If you are not happy in that relationship? If you are not happy with where you are living? There is more out there.

In my experience in my life and many people’s lives, fear & themselves are the only thing stopping them from having more, experiencing more, seeing more and living more fully. 

I knew when I was younger that I wanted to travel the world and see everything and photograph everything and I allowed myself to settle; to get distracted. I tried to convince myself that I could be okay with an okay life. Deep down in my gut or in my intuition, I knew better but I had stopped listening long ago. 

It took my entire life being turned upside-down for me to start listening and trusting myself again. To remember the dreams that I once had. Sometimes when you feel life just keeps throwing punches and just isn’t letting up, you have to take a step back and try to see what the universe may be trying to tell you. 

I was so angry when I finally realized and accepted that my husband was never going to choose me or love me the way I deserved to be loved. That he was never going to stop lying or manipulating me. That he was never going to stop talking to other women or putting on a “show” with all of our friends. 

But because my life fell apart and my world came crashing down around me, I was able to learn to love myself the way I deserved to be love. I was able to tell myself some deep and meaningful truths. I was able to start trusting myself and being myself completely. 

With all of this information and extra weird details about my life that you probably didn’t want to know, I mean to say, TRUST YOUR INTUITION.  

No one will know you better than yourself. Don’t be afraid to spend time with yourself and get to know yourself even better. Trust that little voice inside that is telling you, You can do more or that its okay to want more. Just go for it. Don’t waste time being afraid. You can do anything you set your mind to! You are strong and beautiful and brave. You are talented and you have gifts and something to offer this world that is waiting for you. 

 ©Hailee B. Photography

©Hailee B. Photography

Coco Betty Travels About Me

Hi Friends!

My full name is Courtney Elizabeth and growing up some of my nicknames were Coco & Betty, thus the name Coco Betty. Feel free to call me Coco, I still answer to it. I empower women to love themselves through travel, one trip at a time.

2 Comments

  1. Renee Shmuel on August 25, 2018 at 9:47 pm

    YES, love the idea of not being stuck, follow your dreams , your passion. For when you do that, YOU really start living and breathing. Go for it Coco. sending Love

    • Courtney Black on September 26, 2018 at 1:25 pm

      Thank you! <3

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Coco Betty Travels About Me

Hi Friends!

My full name is Courtney Elizabeth and growing up some of my nicknames were Coco & Betty, thus the name Coco Betty. Feel free to call me Coco, I still answer to it. I empower women to love themselves through travel, one trip at a time.

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